How to Support Coworkers With Anxiety Disorders

If you are worried, know that you are not alone. Anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental illness in the United States. Anxiety disorders include, but are not limited to, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 6.8 million Americans suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. That may sound like a lot of people, but there are even more people in the United States who have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder affects about 15 million American adults.

Although I have not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, I do have an obsessive-compulsive disorder called trichotillomania, also known as hair pulling disorder. Trichotillomania is often caused by anxiety. I have not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but I have been so anxious that I have pulled out my eyebrows and eyelashes since I was six.

Fast forward to my teenage years and my anxiety was at an all time high. When I was fifteen I lost my virginity to a thirty-year-old boy, which made me very popular at an all-girls catholic high school. So, apart from friends who had sex at school, I didn’t tell anyone for ten years. As my anxiety about thoughts of sexual abuse and domestic violence increased, so did my drinking (I have now been alcohol free for four years).

After a series of assaults in my 20s, I began to wonder if I had PTSD. I do not have a PTSD diagnosis, but I am currently on medication prescribed for people with PTSD. I believe that people with anxiety disorders like PTSD need partners in the workplace. That’s why I’ve come up with a few ways to support co-workers with anxiety.

Respect Boundaries

This is one of the most important ways to support colleagues with anxiety disorders. If a coworker has something like social anxiety disorder, respect them even if they don’t go to work events or happy hours. Many people with social anxiety fear social interaction. Some truly believe that they are being watched by everyone in the room. Some are so worried about socializing that they avoid socializing at all. Whether it’s social anxiety disorder or PTSD, always respect the boundaries of your colleagues with disabilities. Be aware that many people with anxiety disorders such as PTSD are easily triggered by loud noises and other sounds.

As someone with PTSD, I am triggered by door slamming and yelling, two things that I saw on a daily basis when I dated abusive men. I highly recommend asking a colleague’s triggers, but only if they have revealed that they have an anxiety disorder. It is not appropriate to ask about the causes of a colleague if you have heard about their problem from someone else. If they tell you directly that they are getting accommodation for an anxiety disorder, ask if there is anything you can do to respect their boundaries and accommodation. Remember that people with anxiety disorders are not a monolith. There are many types of anxiety disorders. Furthermore, each person with an anxiety disorder has a unique experience.

Don’t Stress

This can be difficult if you have a heavy workload. It can be even more difficult if you are part of the leadership. You may have a co-worker with an anxiety disorder. Pushing them to push themselves as hard as possible will increase their anxiety. For example, pressuring a co-worker with panic disorder can cause them to panic in the middle of the office or on a Zoom call. As someone who has had a panic attack before, I understand how difficult it is to breathe in that moment. If you know that someone you work with has a panic disorder, be sure to research your triggers and ways to calm them down during a panic attack. If your coworker with anxiety is clearly worried, listen to them and talk to them when they’re not around.

Become an Ally

People with anxiety disorders need partners at work. Because anxiety isn’t something you can always see, discussions about anxiety disorders are often pushed to the wayside when it comes to the DEI workplace. I’ve only heard of one company that has an employee resource group (ERG) for neurodivergent people. You may want to consider starting one or recommending it to one of the top tiers. But that’s just one of the many ways to be a friend to people with anxiety disorders. The best thing you can do to be a good friend to people with anxiety is to listen.

Most anxiety disorders are a direct result of trauma. It could be childhood trauma, sexual abuse, racial trauma, historical trauma, intergenerational trauma, or some other form of trauma. Sometimes co-workers with anxiety disorders may just need to be heard. You can talk to them during your lunch break or at dinner after work. Really listening to someone talk about their worries can make a big difference. Finally, learn more about anxiety disorders to be a better friend. There is a stigma and misunderstanding surrounding anxiety, but it’s time to start advocating for people with anxiety disorders in the workplace even more.